


chill my bones

by swallowthewhale



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowthewhale/pseuds/swallowthewhale
Summary: At three in the morning, there’s a sharp knock on his door, and Cisco, half-asleep, thinks he must be dreaming. He knows that knock, he’s heard it a thousand times before, on his workshop doorframe, on his apartment door, on his desk when he’s rambling too much. It’s Caitlin’s knock, distinct and familiar, and Cisco almost cries when he hears it again. This time he’s definitely awake.





	1. Chapter 1

Cisco wears Caitlin’s snowflake pendant on a long chain tucked under his shirt. It doesn’t glow anymore, but it’s always cold and reminds him of her. He toys with the idea of fixing it, and trying to put it back on Caitlin when he finds her, but he decides against it. He wants to find a more permanent solution, and besides, he has to find her first.

Cisco can barely remember what his bed feels like, he’s spent so many nights in Star Labs, trying to find Caitlin. It’s not until a full week later that Barry finds out, and another week before Iris threatens him into going home. He might have braved her right hook to stay if he didn’t think that she might actually knock him unconscious if she did punch him. He hasn’t been sleeping much.

He tosses and turns that night, the vibes waking him up every few hours. It takes a glass of water, a trip to the bathroom, and five minutes of his mantra (“I will not vibe, I will not vibe, I will not vibe") to fall back asleep. Neither his mantra nor his control are working very well lately. Maybe it’s because he’s sickeningly sure that the vibes are real and that one in particular is going to come true. He hadn’t really thought much about it since Caitlin asked him to vibe her. They had gotten her powers under control, and at the end there, his mind had been very far from Killer Frost and focused more on “Oh my God, what do I do now?” Cisco doesn’t know how to survive without Caitlin.

At three in the morning, there’s a sharp knock on his door, and Cisco, half-asleep, thinks he must be dreaming. He knows that knock, he’s heard it a thousand times before, on his workshop doorframe, on his apartment door, on his desk when he’s rambling too much. It’s Caitlin’s knock, distinct and familiar, and Cisco almost cries when he hears it again. This time he’s definitely awake.

Caitlin- no, Killer Frost, is on the other side of the door, one bloody hand pressed against her stomach and her face almost the same color as her white hair. Cisco can barely move and Killer Frost wobbles a little, when she blinks her eyes are brown, then glowing blue again. Cisco, despite all his better judgment, lets her in.

She makes a beeline for his bathroom, and Cisco trails behind her, having the presence of mind only to lock the door behind her. When he catches up, the first aid kit is open on the counter, and her shirt is pulled up, revealing a nasty gash.

Cisco wants to ask why she’s here. She has her own apartment, with her own first aid kit. Instead, he asks, “What happened?”

She scowls, wiping away some of the blood with a damp cloth. “Barbed wire,” she hisses.

Cisco doesn’t want to ask why or how she came across barbed wire. Better not to know too much, in case he’s arrested for aiding and abetting. He pulls out the needle and thread - this first aid kit is significantly better stocked than most, since Caitlin put one together for each teammate’s house.

“I can do it,” she says, a trembling hand reaching out for the needle.

Cisco ignores her and threads the needle. “Your hands are shaking.”

“I’m a doctor, I’m fine.”

Well that sounds a lot like Caitlin. He ignores her again. “I’ve got steady hands, you can walk me through it.”

She drops her hand. “Like when Julian removed the shrapnel.”

Cisco eyes her. “Hopefully not that painful.”

She still hesitates.

“I’ve won every game of Operation I’ve ever played, and I like to think that counts for something.”

That at least startles a laugh out of her.

“Are you going to let me do this or what?”

She rolls her eyes but lets him stitch her up. Cisco finds a new shirt for her while she tapes gauze over the stitches. He hands her an old t-shirt that only she ever wears that says “Trust me, I’m the Doctor” across the chest.

“Thank you.”

Cisco leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why did you come here, Cait?”

She doesn’t look at him, gazing at her reflection in the mirror instead. “I trust you,” she says, and when she brushes by him, he only feels a slight chill, not the icy blast he’d been expecting.

Cisco stands there for a long time, staring at the bloody shirt and towel Caitlin had left behind. He puts the shirt in a ziplock bag and throws the towel in the washing machine. Tomorrow he’ll test the shirt, and try to figure out why Caitlin didn’t seem to be very cold. Tonight he’s going to cling to the hope that Caitlin is still alive after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Cisco doesn’t expect to see Caitlin again, not at his door anyway. It’s been a month, and he’s tried every satellite he can think of, a variety of tracking devices, vibing, and even texting her. It’s like she’s fallen off the earth. There are no sightings of Killer Frost, and even Barry has to admit that it’s odd Killer Frost hasn’t surfaced once. Cisco decides to omit her visit to his apartment.

Then one night, there’s another knock at his door, but this time it’s midnight and Cisco’s still awake.

Killer Frost is intact and not bleeding this time, and she looks him over quickly before stepping past him into his apartment.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” she says, and it’s such a Caitlin mix of accusatory and fond, that Cisco can pretend it’s actually her while his back is turned.

He half-shrugs. When he turns around, bracing himself for the sight of Killer Frost where he’d been expecting Caitlin, she presses a cool hand against his forehead, immediately easing the migraine that had been pressing against his skull all afternoon.

He stiffens, chokes on a sob at the sight of color high in her cheeks and brown streaks in her white hair. Caitlin lets him lean his head against her shoulder as he shakes. She slides her hand around the back of his neck instead and Cisco clings to her other hand. She guides him to the couch and they sit shoulder to shoulder that night, watching Law and Order reruns until Cisco falls asleep.

Caitlin is gone when he wakes up in the morning, but there’s a glass of water on the coffee table with three pills. Cisco doesn’t need a note to know that she wants him to take them, and whatever they are, they’re strong, because his migraine vanishes.

The next time she knocks, it’s just past ten at night, a week and a half later. Cisco scrambles to pull on pants and answer the door, his hair still damp from the shower. Her hair is all brown now, but her eyes still glow blue and they linger on Cisco’s bare chest in a way that Caitlin’s never did. She was always surgical and professional when Cisco didn’t have a shirt on. Goosebumps break out on Cisco’s arms at the idea that she might- no. Cisco closes the door on that thought and hurries to pull on a shirt. He’s not Caitlin’s type, anyway.

“How are your headaches?” Caitlin asks. She touches a finger to his freezer and closes the door, it hadn’t latched properly. Cisco can see the ice reform, but doesn’t feel the temperature of the room drop.

He shrugs even though Caitlin’s not looking at him.

She turns shrewd eyes on him. “You can take three pills once a week. Did it help?”

“Yeah.” Cisco resists the urge to tell her that she helped more. He doesn’t want to scare her off.

Cisco lets Caitlin pick the TV station that night, and they watch National Geographic until they fall asleep, Caitlin’s head on Cisco’s shoulder. A glass of water and three pills, but no Caitlin, await Cisco when he wakes up. A week later, Caitlin knocks on his door again and drops three more pills into his hand. Cisco asks for her advice on a new biometric monitoring systems he’s designing and they talk bioengineering until Caitlin orders him to bed. The third week, Cisco strongly considers trying to put a GPS on her. He has no idea where she spends her days or the nights that she doesn’t stay with him. But he figures that she’ll tell him eventually, and if she finds the tracker their fragile trust might be broken. Cisco still hasn’t told Barry that he’s been seeing Caitlin.

Another week later, Caitlin’s eyes are distinctly less blue. It’s the dead of summer and her body temperature would be hypothermic for anyone else, but curled up on Cisco’s couch, it feels like a comfortable, steady 65 F. Cisco chooses not to mention this semblance of control Caitlin seems to have gained over her powers, and they settle into a pattern. Caitlin appears at Cisco’s apartment late enough Friday night that none of his neighbors will spot her, they fall asleep on the couch together, and Caitlin disappears before Cisco wakes up. The door is always still bolted from the inside in the morning, and Cisco is sure she still has a key. Caitlin never lets herself in, though, until one Tuesday evening, Cisco comes home from Star Labs and finds Caitlin asleep on his couch, an ugly red welt on her cheek.

Cisco sits at her feet on the couch and watches TV until Caitlin wakes up. She turns around like a cat and settles with her head on his thigh, the welt on her cheek already fading. Cisco rubs a hand along her arm. She’s colder than usual.

“Thank you,” she says quietly.

“For what?” 

“Letting me in.”

“You let yourself in,” Cisco points out, tugging gently on the ends of her hair.

She sits up on her knees to face him. “No. You let me in.”

Cisco shrugs. “I’ll always let you in, Cait.”

“What if I lose control again?”

She’s shivering now. Cisco slides a hand into her hair and presses their foreheads together. “You’re stronger than you think.”

Caitlin collapses against his chest, and Cisco cradles her close, relief swamping him. They’ve hugged like this before, disaster after disaster, but they haven’t been this close since Caitlin died. 

“I’ll always be here for you, Cait,” he whispers into her hair.

She shifts so that the awkward hold turns into an embrace.

“Always.”


End file.
